I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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