he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize