she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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