I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
