I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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