I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
