if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
