do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
