my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
