You're my little dorito
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
