It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
