Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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