She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
