Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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