My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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