Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
