Dual....:-)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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