so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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