this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
