break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
