i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
