They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
