just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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