Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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