If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
