No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
