My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
