party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize