they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize