goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
