Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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