i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
