i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
