i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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