There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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