I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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