i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
