Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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