ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
