im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
