If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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