I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
