I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
