It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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