What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
