Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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