Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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