hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
