sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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