she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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