Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
