Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
