but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
