If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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