he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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