Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
