I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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