You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I met the friendliest cop last night
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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