Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
