I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
