How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
