Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
