I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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